Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Oooops, I gotta life for a while

Sorry for the long delay in posting, but my mommy always said if you don't have anything nice to say, you shouldn't say anything at all. So consider yourself spared the venom I have been unleashing on those "lucky" enough to know me in "RL".

My dear friend LeeAnn decided to nudge me into posting again the other day, and probably felt the need to count and make sure her fingers were still all there after receiving my reply e-mail. I've been busy. Not the kind of happy busy that makes your life full and worth living, but the kind of busy that occupies your mind even while you sleep.

Work has been work and there have seriously been days when my boss has asked me if I have completed a task she assigned me only for me to discover, that yes I had, but unfortunately I was sleeping at the time and I only dreamt I had done it.

Spring has finally sprung here in Indiana and its beautiful, but along with this glorious season comes the distressing return of destructive, blood sucking insects. In this case I'm not referring to the critters in my yard, but my ex-husband. Each year about this time we begin the blood bath of bartering for what time my son will spend with him.

The court order states we are to alternate weekends and major holidays and my son is supposed to spend one one-week period and one two-week period with him during the summer. It all sounds so simple and it should be, but there are two problems: one is that seven long years after we were finally divorced, my ex is still pissed that I left him and hell bent on "my destruction"; and two, my son just absolutely cannot stand to be around this man, not even for a second.

As the custodial parent, it is apparently my obligation to hog tie my 6' tall son and force him to comply with the visitation orders. Its a totally dysfunctional arrangement and its gotten progressively worse as my son has grown older, more social outside the home and had larger doses of testosterone pumping through his body.

Let me be clear, I would LOVE for my son to spend time with his father in a productive and happy relationship. I relish the time that he goes to his dad's because it allows my husband and I to have uninterrupted and quality couple time. Since I came into this marriage with two kids in tow, those visitation periods are a time for us to be together and explore and relax like most couples get a chance to do before throwing parenthood into the mix.

Unfortunately, my ex is so controlling, passive aggressive and just downright toxic that each visitation is a traumatic experience for all involved. The kid pretty much spends each visitation in total lock down, being berated for everything from his hair to the fact that he has an active social life that he would like to pursue.

So I've been coming home each night to 155 pounds of pissed-off,moody teenager and getting nasty e-mails from the ex threatening to take me to court if I don't somehow compel this kid to actually enjoy his company. Its really bitter right now because its nearly spring break and my son is supposed to go there for 9 days.

So what's a stressed out, quality sleep deprived, mom, ex-wife, wife and model employee supposed to do? GET A LIFE! And I intend to... at 10:15 a.m. tomorrow... when I board a plane to runaway from home....to my mommy... in Florida. With any luck I'll get to sleep late, play on the beach, eat fantastic food that I don't have to prepare all by myself, drink wine and laugh myself silly with my parents, sister and nieces (who are also down there for a visit). And with an extra bit of luck, I'll even get to see LeeAnn, her DH, my god-dogs and do some serious damage to a bottle a tequila.

Maybe when I come back, I'll even have something nice to say.

13 comments:

Tammi said...

Ouch. I can relate to the family issues.

But ohhhhh I'm thrilled to hear you're takin' some Mommy Time. And gettin' to see LeeAnn and her DH?!?!?! I'm so jealous. Y'all have a shot or two for me. 'mkay?!?

Anonymous said...

Have a good trip! Sorry to hear about the family issues. How old is your son?

Richmond said...

I hope you have a wonderful vacation! :-)

Anonymous said...

Tammi said for us to drink a shot of tequilla for her and she and tequilla are GOOD FRIENDS, so I think it's only right to do so. Ah, don't you hate it when we're forced to do something. bwahahahaha

Can't wait to see you. We'll put our big butts into beach chairs with our toes being teased by the gulf waters, sereptisiously (sp?) drink tequilla mixed beverages from non-decript containers and cups, watch the sun set and have an absolute ball. (Absolut! That too!)

Anonymous said...

I'll have to send a sympathy card to that poor tequila bottle :-)

Anonymous said...

That poor, poor Tequila bottle... :-)

Peter said...

Whoops! Maybe I should leave another case of Tequila here.

Anonymous said...

time to fix a drink and venture back into the blog-o-sphere

sticks said...

I'll leave some salt and limes.

Anonymous said...

Tonight's a good night... Pour yourself some of that tequila and relax. Hope things are better soon!

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